| ... < / 3 |
[Nov. 27th, 2005|01:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | some emo shit | ] |
i love you.
but,
i HATE you. |
|
|
| sometimes |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|02:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | postal service | ] |
sometimes i wish that i could capture what you say.
sometimes i wish that i could capture what you do.
i want to capture your real laugh. the one that you make when you're not trying to impress people.
i want to capture your real smile. the one that gives your heart away.
sometimes i wish that i could capture your voice.
sometimes i wish that i could capture your eyes.
why can't a picture show you how i love you.
why can't a picture show me, you love me to.
 |
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|
| the morning. |
[Nov. 7th, 2005|02:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | modest mouse | ] |
i have you ever woken up, looked outside, and wanted to take pictures.
i do all the time.
but the ones i took this morning are my favorite so far.
|
|
|
| wow. |
[Nov. 1st, 2005|08:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bob dylan - like a rolling stone | ] |
somebody please shoot me. greatest night ever last night. i love my friends. we were all drunken sluts. ha.
and now i'm dying. worst hangover ever. my mommy gave me some tyonole. lol. so i feel kinda better. but yeah.
anyways. i'll put some pictures up later.
<3 |
|
|
| wishing. |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|05:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | billie holiday | ] |
sometimes i wish i wasn't born in this era. this lifetime.
it seems like everything was just more simple back then.
i see old fashioned photos of my grandparents and i think
why can't that be me.
why was i born now.
why can't the boys be gentlemen, and not bros.
and why can't the girl be ladies, and not hoes.
all i do know, is that this one gentleman
has captured my heart.
and he does not know that this lady is dying inside.
|
|
|
| homecoming pictures |
[Oct. 11th, 2005|06:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | laughter | ] |
k. so heres some pictures from homecoming. interesting night.
the girls.
my loves.
my kelso.
my lindsey.
my beautiful lacey.
my kyliee
my girlfriend danielle lol
my chloe
my ariel.
awe. my chaddy.
my date. motherfuckin gia.
well thats about it. i was drunk for most of the night. and i was a pimp and got all the ladies lol. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|09:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my moms washing machine | ] |
today is pride day in santa barbara. and i'm soo excited. my johnny baby is coming with me! and then lauren and kylee and jenn k are coming with us and we're going to go shopping for homecoming dresses . .even though i already found the perfect dress. omg. it looks AMAZING lol. i'm so excited. awe. i just smiled lol. anyways. today should be a good day.
ohh yeahh and i get to meet my cousins bf [ edgar ] and im' sooooo excited . becuase he treats tony so well and tony is so happy right now and i'm so happy for him .. but anywasy ..
johns going to be my boyfriend for the day. but i wanna meet a beautiful sweet girl and that wil ltake care of me and won't break me yheart. hahaha yeahhh fucking right. those chances are as good as when hell freezez over lol.
anways. i'm off to pick up the girls.
have a great day everyone.
<3333 |
|
|
| sick. |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | silence | ] |
i'm sick again. and all i've been doing ever since 7 30 this morning is having my faced either drooling down the side of the pillow cuz i'm passed out w/ tyonole [ however you spell it ] .. or glued to the tv watching murder she wrote, saved by the bell, unsolved mysteries, my sweet 16 and some other shows that do nothign for my brain [ maybe not murder she wrote or unsolved mysteries cuz they make me think ] .. but anyways. i also watched a dozen movies. probbly about 6 endings to movies on hbo or sho or cinimax or w/e. anywyas. my mom took me to get some movies. and some taco bell. jeeze i really love those crunch wrap. it was really funny actually. i'm sick and you can't really understand me and my mom is retarded so when i told her that i wnated a crunch wrap she told the guy i wanted a munch taco or something lol. well. you had to be there. anyways. i got BE COOL, THE WEDDING DATE, AND CRASH. be cool was kinda weird. it had john travolta and uma thurman dancing 2gether again like in pulp fiction which was cool. and the wedding date had debra messing [ grace from will and grace ] who i love. so it was good. but the highlight of my day/night [ besdies the frosty my dad got me :) ] .. was watching CRASH. i absolutely fell in love with the movie. it made me cry. shocked me. made me smile. made me mad at the world. its about complete strangers in LA who somehow inflict on each other lives bad or good. it shows how the real world is scary out there. how people are so racist not just against black people. but for every race out there. how their is murder. rape. everything. just everything. when the movie ended. i was in complete silence. its one of those films that really makes you think about thigns.
well. it's 9 26 on a friday night. and this is all it comes down to. livejournal. lol. and you know that i was on myspace about 20 min. ago before i got in this thing. lol. we're so predictable. lol.
anyways. everyone have a great night. and please go rent CRASH. i promise you won't regret it.
<3 |
|
|
| the dance. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|02:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | led zepplin | ] |
yup. so i'm going to homecoming. i'm so excited.
who am i taking you ask??
the hottest girl in the worl .. my GIA BABY.
thats all i got.
farmers tonight? whose going? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|06:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | kinks - lola | ] |
i am in love.
end of story. |
|
|
| so happy. |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|01:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | strawberry alarm clock | ] |
so. yesterday was really depressing.
no date for the dance. and i am in love. it sucks.
my mom took me out shopping. that made me feel kinda better ..
but then you called. and made me smile.
and then!!!!! i got a date to the dance!!!!
the gia && the meek are gunna go together. i am so excited .. we're gunna be hot. basically lol.
anyways. and then today came. fight with mom for a little bit. but ..
then you called again. and now there are plans. i am literally the most happiest person right now.
so this is what they call a natural high lol.
i LOVE.. just love. |
|
|
| undecided |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | violent femmes | ] |
i think i'm lost again. i've been thinking a lot. throughout all the crazy studying i'm doing && finding time for my different friends. i miss the days of innocence. i miss the days where i did absolutely nothing on the weekends but watch movies. and being okay with that. i miss getting really good grades and caring about school. i miss knowing everything and people asking me about thigns and knowing what to say. i miss my old thoughts. i miss my ignorance of the world and all the bad things. i miss my mother. we were so close. i just miss.
thats all.
i love my life. don't get me wrong. my friends are my world. family. life. everything. you all make me wake up in the morning and let me know that everything is going to be okay.
it just. i miss everytyhing. its' like i'm homesick. but i'm right at home.
i'm in my room. i'm in my comfort zone. with all the thigns that i've had all my life.
but somethings missing. and its my whole life i once had.
i hate having two sides & keeping them separate. i just hate it.
</3 |
|
|
| lately |
[Sep. 7th, 2005|06:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | alice cooper - i'm 18 | ] |
in a nut shell.
i've been doing good.
- studying
- visiting friends
- staying good w/ my mom
- laughing
i saw john and gia for little bit today.
i love those bitches. lol
and tody was 80s day.
hahaha.
look how hott these bitche are :
lala && me
danielle && me
ariel && me
me && lala && chloe && noelle
lala && me && lindsey
right now. i'm loving life. |
|
|
| okay. so. basically. |
[Aug. 27th, 2005|02:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | n/a | ] |
i'm over you.
you can go die.
:)
and for you.
well. you confuse me so much.
but i'll never be over you.
i just love you.
i'm sorry.
and youuu.
you idiot.
don't go.
please.
i love you.
and you guys.
i just lvoe you. |
|
|
| life: right now. |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|03:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | coldplay. yellow. | ] |
so my mother hates my friends.
and is making me choose either them or her.
if i move .. then i'm out of the family forever.
if i don't .. then i lose my friends.
but i think we can work something out.
i can do nothing but cry and mourn.
i love you all.
i miss you more than you'll ever know.
and then next time i see you .. any of you ..
i'm never letting you go.
♥. |
|
|
| rightttttt. |
[Aug. 20th, 2005|03:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hendrix | ] |
stop playing games.
with.
m
e.
its just not fair to me. or to my heart.
"time to play the field && have fun".
so fuck you.
ps.
thanks for letting me fall in love with you.
that was real nice.
</3 |
|
|
| my house. |
[Aug. 13th, 2005|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | n/a | ] |
i'm going to go crazy in the hell hole.
seriously.
why are you so desparate to see me in pain.
so i have friends that i love.
and you have none.
so i have a life that i'm happy with.
and you are not.
just because you are unhappy with everything in yoru life ..
doesn't mean you can ruin mine.
well.
when i'm 18.
i'm out bitch.
you just wait and see.
i'm so tired of defending myself.
and my choices.
NOT everyone took that shit okay.
there are innocent people okay.
god.
just shut the fuck up.
or go die or something. |
|
|
| again.trust. |
[Aug. 12th, 2005|12:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | n/a | ] |
there was probably over $2000 stolen.
thats real cool guys.
real real cool.
w/e.
what is done is done.
i just hope it wasn't you.
and why do you have to look at me like that.
its like the whole world stops.
and we are the only people in it.
why do you make me confused.
why is it you that has captured my entirity.
why did i have to fall in love with
you.
don't look at me like that again please.
it makes me weak.
like i can't function.
and the sad part.
is you
w
i
l
l
n e v e r
k
n
o
w
. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|04:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | heart - barracuda | ] |
awe.
my boo came back today.
and it was a surprise.
the nicest surprise in the world.
now we're going to applebees.
our infamous [dinnerplace].
and then its off to farmers with my babies.
[ john. brit. mel. ]
oh yeah. got my schedule for next year.
its going to go pretty nicelyy.
oh yeah.
kelseys taking my pictures on sat.
and i want ot take pictures of her too.
wahoo. i'm excited.
[ ♥ ] |
|
|
| not even fights and fame.<3 |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|06:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | garden state soundtrack | ] |
i have you back. i know we both were wrong. and it takes a real friendship to admit that. i honestly felt incomplete. my life just wasn't right. i missed you like crazy. i love you baby johnnyy. we're always going to be friends.
you have no idea what an impact you ahve made on me. you've helped me form my true identity. you've helped me realize theres more in the world than my little home in this little town with my little mother. youve opened my eyes. and i appreciate it so.
i'm glad you've gone through this change .. maybe not the passing out part lol .. but everyone goes through experiences to grow up. i'm glad that we came out of this ordeal holding hands.
it is time to smile.
and no hibernation is near
[complete happiness] |
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